


You let me in and he lives

by fangirl_from_the_bookstore



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, But what else is new?, Derek Blames Himself, Derek Hale Saves Stiles Stilinski, Despair, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s03e22 De-Void, Exorcism, F/M, Grief, Guilt, Heavy Angst, Hurt Derek, Hurt Stiles, Love Confessions, Lydia is a genius, M/M, Nogitsune Stiles Stilinski, Partly very sad, Possession, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sappy times, Stiles Stilinski Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Stiles Stilinski Saves Derek Hale, Stiles sacrifices himself for Derek, The sheriffs name is Noah, Void Stiles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-29
Updated: 2019-12-01
Packaged: 2020-11-01 12:40:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20815310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fangirl_from_the_bookstore/pseuds/fangirl_from_the_bookstore
Summary: “What's it gonna be, Stiles?”, he hissed.“Stiles, please”, Derek groaned.“Everybody just SHUT UP!”, Stiles shouted and his voice quivered. His entire body was trembling. The blood was rushing through his ears and he felt nauseous. But he already knew, that there was only one way out of it. He sighed.“Okay”, Stiles said and his voice was stern.





	1. The Sacrifice

**Author's Note:**

> I had this idea that Stiles would sacrifice himself for Derek and that's how he got possessed by the Nogitsune. Kinda like what happened with him and Malia, but I figured that he would fight more :)
> 
> Have fun reading it ♥
> 
> The text for the exorcism in chapter 4 is taken from https://wiccanspells.info/exorcism-spell-latin-prayer-incantation/

The sacrifices for their parents had been necessary, but it also made them vulnerable for further threats. All three of them had noticed it. The unease in their bones, the constant thought that something was not right. The differentiation of what's real and what's not became more and more difficult to them. Lydia was the one getting the premonition, that something did come into this world with them. It called itself the Nogitsune, a dark spirit from Japan. And apparently it was here to stay.

They all needed to be on the lookout for the new threat, so Allison and Scott stuck together like glue. Lydia could handle herself pretty well, but they all made sure to never leave her alone as well. She mostly tried to stay at Deaton's, because he had experience with that kind of threat already and this way they could research together. Derek never left Stiles' side, but that was no surprise.

Everybody knew Derek and Stiles and Stiles and Derek. Everybody could see the deep love they had for each other. Over the years they grew to rely on each other and found trust and an understanding. They would do anything for each other. Often Stiles was Derek's anchor when the world wouldn't seem right and then other times Derek was there to show Stiles what was real and what wasn't.

There had been times when their hands had touched in the past, but none of them had minded. It had become clear that both felt something for the other and when Stiles finally had gotten the courage to tell Derek about his feelings, the world seemed to align. The first time they had held hands in public everybody had just nodded and accepted it, because it had been inevitable. This had happened two weeks ago and since then they were like teenagers around each other, afraid to say or do something wrong. It was adorable seeing them together. Even though the relationship was still new to them, it felt right and both were as content as anyone could be.

They always went on missions together, because one wouldn't leave the other alone and couldn't function anyway. That's why, this time they had been together on the hunt as well. They had followed a trail to the school, while Allison and Scott were heading out into the woods, because of another hunch. Lydia stayed with Deaton. Together they read through old books and transcipts to find out more about the threat and about a way to eliminate it.

It was already dark when Stiles and Derek entered the school. Stiles had his bat out and Derek was in half-shift. Derek was cautiously walking ahead, ears listening to any sounds that weren't their own and eyes looking at every corner twice. Stiles was walking closely behind him, his bat over his shoulder, ready to hit anything that came down his way. The school was dead quiet and the light of the moon projected weird shadows on the walls.

“Do you sense anything?”, Stiles whispered, but Derek just shook his head.

“Let's check the second floor”, Derek said quietly and they both slowly made their way up the stairs.

“Stiles, I know you don't want to hear this, but when I say 'run', then you run. Got it?”

“Derek, you kno-”

“Spare me, Stiles”, Derek interrupted him and turned around to look at him, “this is serious, I can't have you get hurt, okay?”

Stiles saw the sincerity in Derek's eyes.

“I hear you”, Stiles said, “but what about you?”

“I am a werewolf”, Derek shrugged and smiled, “I think I got it.”

Stiles huffed and followed Derek up the stairs. The silence was tense and Stiles was on edge the entire time. His knuckles were white because they gripped the bat with so much force and his arms were shaking. Derek's breaths were steady and deep, because he was so focused on listening to any sounds. Stiles' breaths on the other hand were a tiny bit too shaky to be normal. They walked around another corner and found a corridor full of lockers. Some had stickers on them, some small writings. Stiles could identify an advertisement for the school's baseball team. The bins were still full of old flyers and some were laying on the floor.

They both walked cautiously through the corridor. Derek had his claws out and his senses were running on overdrive.

“I feel something....a shift in....in energy”, Derek said quietly. Stiles' heart was about to burst out of his chest.

“Good shift or bad shift?”, Stiles asked to lighten the mood, but it fell flat.

Suddenly Derek stopped and Stiles nearly ran into him.

“Wha-”, he started, but when saw Derek's expression he stopped. Derek was terrified.

And then four black smoke clouds appeared. Derek and Stiles stood there, panting, ready to fight. Derek moved in front of Stiles to protect him, his gaze flickering between the smoke clouds and his chest heaving with every breath. Then the smoke disappeared as quickly as it came and four shapes were standing in front of them. Three black swordsmen and one person covered in bandages and old clothes. Only his mouth could be seen. It was black with sharp teeth and distorted into a wicked smile.

“They are here”, Stiles breathed and his heart clenched out of terror. Three Onis and the Nogitsune were definitely more than they could manage.

Derek roared and immediately started to attack them. Stiles took a few steps back and reached for the phone in his pocket to let the others know that they needed help, but it was kicked out of his hand by one of the Onis. It was thrown against the lockers and fell apart completely.

“Oh come on”, Stiles muttered under his breath.

He swung his bat at the Oni, but he easily dodged it. Derek was using all of his abilities, but somehow the Onis were always faster and managed to cut him with their katanas a few times. The Nogitsune was just watching from the sidelines, that wicked smile still on his lips.

“You might be wondering, why we finally appreared”, the Nogitsune started, “well...we noticed that you were on to us, so we wanted to take the time to eliminate any...distractions.”

Stiles and Derek were still fighting for their lifes, but both of their strengths slowly diminished. Stiles' had sweat running down his face and his spine. He was getting desperate and just spun the bat around. Luckily it was just one Oni who was attacking him, Derek had to deal with two. Stiles panted and his chest heaved with every breath. His arms were covered in small cuts from the katana, one was on his leg and made him limp a bit. He could feel his strength leaving him.

Suddenly the Oni that was in front of him disappeared. Stiles paused for a second, confused. A grunt behind him made him spin around and what he saw made his heart clench. Derek was laying on the floor, the Onis were staying around him in a circle, with their katanas out. Derek gasped and that's when Stiles saw that one of the Oni had their katana stuck in Derek's back.

Stiles made a step towards him instinctively, but the other two Onis quickly moved into his path. They directed their katanas at him, so Stiles stepped back again.

“Now what?”, the Nogitsune asked and Stiles could hear the excitement. It made him sick in his stomach.

“What do you want from us?”, Stiles said between clenched teeth. He couldn't take his glance off Derek, who was panting on the floor. Derek was looking at him with pain in his eyes. Blood and sweat were mixed on his face.

“I need a new body, this one is old and is getting...brittle.”

“But why us? What did you we do to you?”, the desperation was in Stiles' voice. His heartbeat was racing and he could feel a panic attack coming.

The Nogitsune thought about that for a while. He was taunting them. He walked around the corridor, but Stiles kept his eyes fixed on him. He made sure to always stand between the Nogitsune and Derek. His bat was still in his hands, but they were shaking so much that Stiles feared that he might drop it at any second.

“You didn't do anything to me, I just want...._more_.”

Stiles grunted at the unsufficient answer. He looked back to Derek, who met his glance. There was no way out of this situation and it scared Stiles. Derek clenched his eyes shut again when the Oni twisted the blade a bit.

“Hey! Stop that!”, Stiles called, but was again stopped by Onis standing in his way. He turned around to look at the Nogitsune.

“If you hurt him I swear to god I will make your life a living hell!”, Stiles looked at him with fury in his eyes. The Nogitsune smirked, he seemed to enjoy the situation.

“Just let us go!”, Stiles shouted, but his voice quivered a bit.

“You know Stiles”, the Nogitsune started, his voice raspy and deep, “I was thinking about taking your Alpha as a new body...but now that I see all that..._rage_ inside of you, I might reconsider my options”, he smirked.

Stiles was taken aback by that. He was at a loss for words.

“No”, Derek grunted, the sound made Stiles flinch. He looked at Derek again and tears of frustration were on Derek's face. Everytime his skin tried to knit itself back together, the Oni twisted the blade so that it would all be for nothing. He didn't know how to get out of this situation.

“What do you mean?”, Stiles asked the Nogitsune cautiously. He needed to hear it, it sounded too crazy inside his own head.

“I think you know, Stiles”, the Nogitsune said and his voice send shivers down Stiles' spine.

“No”, Stiles shook his head, “no way, I am not gonna do that, I am not gonna let you use me!”

“Do you really think you have a choice here?”, the Nogitsune smirked and Derek's cries of pain disturbed the silence.

“Stop it! Please, STOP!”, Stiles shouted and this time they let him through to Derek. He crouched down next to him and stroke the hair out of his face. Derek panted and looked up at Stiles. His eyes were glistering with tears and Stiles' swallowed hard. He grunted in frustration again and stood back up.

“Just let us go!”

Stiles started to panic. He noticed the shaking of his arms and just held the bat firmer.

“It is easy, Stiles”, the Nogitsune smirked, “you either let me in or you are gonna lose him.”

“No”, Stiles whispered and clenched his eyes shut. _This isn't happening right now_.

“Stiles...don't even think about it”, Derek grunted and there was pain in his voice.

“I know that, Derek”, Stiles said between clenched teeth. _But what choice do I have?_ he thought to himself.

Then Stiles spun around and swung the bat at the Oni who had Derek pinned to the floor. He had hoped that it would take the Oni by surprise, but it just disappeared into smoke for a second, before manifesting again. And before Stiles could react the Oni just pushed the sword back into Derek's back and twisted it. Derek screamed.

“STOP!”, Stiles shouted again and tears of frustration ran down his face. Derek was panting and Stiles didn't know how long Derek could withstand it anymore.

“Bad move, Stiles”, the Nogitsune smirked.

“Just let him go, please.”

But the Nogitsune didn't answer. He continued pacing back and forth, continued taunting him. The Oni twisted the sword again and this time Derek could just manage a grunt. Stiles closed his eyes and took a shuddering breath.

“Please. Just let him go”, he said defeatedly.

“Let me in”, the Nogitsune simply said.

Stiles let out a loud and frustrated grunt. He threw the bat across the corridor and it flew into a locker with a loud bang. The Nogitsune smirked at that sudden outburst of fury. Stiles ran his hands through his sweaty hair. The cut at his leg pulsated in the rhythm of his racing heartbeat. He didn't want to give in, but did he really have a choice?

Derek saw the look on Stiles' face.

“Stiles...don't...please”, he panted.

“I have to do this, Derek, I can't-”, Stiles couldn't finish this sentence.

“No...please”, the Oni twisted the blade again and Derek couldn't stop the agonizing raw scream from coming out of his mouth, both from the pain and the frustration. It pierced through Stiles' skull and made his ears ring.

“STOP!”, he screamed and there was so much anger in it that they actually did. The Nogitsune looked at him from his croutched position. Stiles straightened his shoulders.

“If I let you in...you will let him live?”, tears were falling down his cheeks, but he quickly wiped them away.

“Stiles”, Derek breathed, he had no more strength to say anything else. Stiles didn't focus on him, because he knew that he would break if he saw Derek's face right now.

“Derek, please”, Stiles pleaded with his eyes closed.

“You let me in and he lives, it is as easy as that”, the Nogitsune grumbled, satisfied with the situation.

It was quiet for a while, just Derek's ragged breaths and Stiles' racing heartbeat disturbed the silence. Stiles desperately thought of a way out, but there was none. If he left Derek behind right now the Onis would kill him, _if_ they even let Stiles escape. Stiles couldn't fight them and he couldn't escape. There was no other way out of this.

“I am getting bored, Stiles”, the Nogitsune said warningly. He signaled one of the other Oni to direct its katana at Derek's neck.

“Stop stop STOP!”, Stiles shouted panicky and stood between Derek and the Nogitsune with his arms out. The Nogitsune signaled the Oni to move back again and Stiles allowed himself to let out a sigh of relief.

“What's it gonna be, Stiles?”, he hissed.

“Stiles, please”, Derek groaned.

“Everybody just SHUT UP!”, Stiles shouted and his voice quivered. His entire body was trembling. The blood was rushing through his ears and he felt nauseous. But he already knew, that there was only one way out of it. He sighed.

“Okay”, Stiles said and his voice was stern.

Derek closed his eyes and cursed under his breath. He screamed out of frustration, because he was so useless right now. The sword was still stuck in his back and he was immobile. He tried to move, but was put into place by the Oni again. Pure rage filled his veins, but it wasn't enough to get him free.

The Nogitsune smirked mischievously. He crept closer to Stiles. Slowly, as if savouring the situation. Derek's raw scream of fury rang through the air, but there was nothing he could do.

“Derek...I love you, I never said it before, but I do... thought you should know that”, Stiles said with a sad smile on his face and swallowed hard. Then the Nogitsune took his face in his hands and Stiles closed his eyes. The energy in the air changed and the Nogitsune's grip on Stiles' face tightened. Stiles scrunched up his brows and they stayed like this for a few seconds. Then Stiles' face became slack and they both fell to the floor like marionettes without their strings. The body of the Nogitsune turned to ash and dust, but Stiles laid on his side, motionless.

“No!”, Derek screamed and tears of anger were streaming down his face. He tried to move, but was again stopped by the Oni. Derek grunted and tried to push himself up from the floor. This pushed the katana further into his back, but the adrenaline in his body gave him strength. Just when he thought that he would pass out from the pain all three Onis disappeared into the smoke they came from. Derek slumped back to the floor and took in a shuddering breath. He looked at Stiles who was still laying lifeless on the floor. Derek gathered up all his strength and slowly crawled towards him.

That's when he noticed that Stiles' fingers started to twitch. Stiles stirred and his eyes moved behind his lids. Derek dragged himself further across the floor. A tiny bit of hope rose in his chest.

“Stiles, are you okay?”, he groaned and slumped back onto the floor. Every movement caused hot pain to shoot through his body and he needed a second to gather his strength.

Stiles moved his head a bit and scrunched up his brows. Then he took a deep breath and opened his eyes. Derek sighed and an exhausted smile formed on his face. He was just about to say something, when his face froze. Something about Stiles was..._different_. Stiles looked around and slowly sat up. Derek watched all of this tensly. When Stiles stood up and inspected his body Derek's heart chlenched. Stiles held his body all wrong and something in his scent had changed as well. That's when Derek realised that Stiles was gone and the realisation hit him like a bomb. New hot tears blurred his vision and he felt sick to his stomach.

“Stiles?”, he breathed, but was anxious about the response he was gonna get.

'Stiles' looked at him and tilted his head. But it wasn't Stiles anymore, Derek wasn't even sure if the thing before him was still human. It still looked like Stiles but the creature's eyes were dull and he reeked of death. It smirked, its voice was low and raspy when he spoke.

“Not exactly...Try again.”


	2. Feeling Hopeless

Derek felt like he was underwater. He was still sitting in the school corridor where it all had happened, unable to move. The wound on his back was still open, trying to stitch itself together, but yet he felt nothing. Everything was numb. He had been staring at the same spot on the floor for the last twenty minutes. His eyes were overflowing with tears, but he stopped caring about that a long time ago. The creature....Stiles....he still had no idea how to call it had left him laying on the floor. Derek had been too numb to do anything other than watching the man he loved walk away.

The blood was rushing through his veins, making it hard to hear anything other than the buzz in his ears. His heartbeat was calm however, it was like his body was ready to shut down at any minute. The thoughts in his head were going crazy. Continuously replaying this night. Whenever it happened his breath shuddered before returning to the slow rhythm it had been before.

“_What's it gonna be, Stiles?”, the Nogitsune hissed._

“_Stiles, please”, he groaned._

“_Everybody just SHUT UP!”, Stiles shouted and his voice quivered. It was quiet for a while, but when Stiles spoke again Derek felt sick in his stomach._

“_Okay”, Stiles said and his voice was stern._

Derek shook his head to push the thoughts away and wiped his hands over his face. Everytime he let his mind wander it broke him all over again. A breath hiccuped in his throat and he cleared his throat. Derek felt hopeless and furious at the same time, but it seemed like his body didn't know what to do first so it just shut down and left him feel paralysed and sitting on the floor. Staring at a crumpled up leaflet about something he couldn't be bothered to read.

_StilesStilesStilesStiles_

Derek's mind was fogged up but couldn't shut up at the same time. He still hoped that it all had been a bad dream, but deep down he knew that this indeed was reality.

He heard some muffled sounds in the distance, but couldn't bring up the energy to care and look who came his way.

“-REK! Derek, hey!”, Scott skiddered into his vision. His face was red, it seemed like he ran all the way here. Derek slowly looked up and tried to focus on Scott's face, but the tears made it difficult to see anything clearly. He could make out another shape closely behind. _Allison_.

“Derek, what happened, where is Stiles?”, Scott's voice was shrill and panicky. He frantically looked around, but saw nothing than lockers and pieces of paper. Allison was holding her bow and looked for threats as well. Scott looked back at Derek, but it seemed like Derek looked right through him. His gaze was unfocused and his face slack. Scott's stomach twisted and turned. He noticed blood on the floor, but could assign it to Derek. He caught himself feeling relieved. But where was Stiles? What had happened here?

“Derek?”, he asked again and tried to make his voice sound less shaky, “what happened?”

Scott put a hand on Derek's shoulder and that send an electric jolt through Derek's body and he sucked in a breath. Suddenly all the noises came back to him. There was Scott's shaky breath and his racing heartbeat. Allison's knuckles she kept cracking. He could hear the trees outside rustling in the wind and in the distance he could hear cars driving on the streets. The wound on his back was throbbing and made him flinch. Derek looked up, this time for real, and met Scott's glance. There was so much confusion and concern in Scott's eyes and Derek wanted nothing more than to flee back into his dazed state again.

“Uhm...I...it...”, Derek started, his voice raspy and quiet.

Scott was hanging onto every single word Derek said, trying to piece together what had happened. He looked up to Allison, who was as confused as he was. She took down her bow, realising that the worst already had happened. She put a hand on Scott's shoulder to ground herself and to give him strength for what was to come. But Scott didn't feel that, he was too focused on Derek. Derek's mind was on overdrive and blank at the same time, he didn't know how to begin.

“Well....we uhm...Stiles and I, we were-”, a breath hitched in his throat. _StilesStilesStilesStiles._

Derek took a shaky breath and closed his eyes. He couldn't bare seeing Scott's face and the pain in his eyes when he was going to tell him that Stiles was...gone.

“Stiles and I...we were just walking around school. Then...then they appreared. They were four...three Onis and the Nogitsune”, he noticed that Scott sucked in a breath, but Derek kept his eyes clenched shut, “there was a fight and I was _so stupid_...they got me and I couldn't do anything, I couldn't save him, I couldn't even MOVE!”

Derek's voice had gone louder. His body was shivering and he could feel that Scott retracted his hand from his shoulder. When Derek opened his eyes he was met with Scott's and Allison's teary ones.

“I couldn't save him, Scott”, Derek breathed and it was like the wind was knocked out of him all over again. He swallowed down a sob.

Scott looked at him. Shocked. Hurt. But most importantly utterly devastated. He looked away and shook his head. Allison put a shaky hand over her mouth.

“Oh god”, she breathed teary.

“No, this can't be”, Scott muttered to himself. Tears were forming in his eyes and already rolled down his face. When he looked back at Derek his gaze was grim. It was like he put on a mask, but it was cracking and Derek could see that Scott was about to break.

“Derek you need to tell me _exactly_ what happened here...It can't be true”, the last part was not more than a whisper.

“They took him”, Derek whispered and looked back at him, “the Nogitsune...he took his...his body...I...he is gone.”

Scott silently shook his head. He just couldn't believe that it was true. That his brother...was gone. He looked away. Allison knelt down and Scott hid his face in her chest. She fiercly hugged him and he tried to hide his sobs. She too tried hard not to break down, but she could feel her throat well up because of tears.

“I am sorry”, Derek's voice was distant and emotionless. He didn't know what else to say. He was still feeling numb himself.

Nobody said anything for a few seconds. Derek could see that Scott's mind was going crazy, but he didn't blame him. It was a lot to process and Derek wasn't even sure if he had processed it already himself. Scott held onto Allison with everything he had. She had her arm around him and tried calming her racing heart down. Then suddenly Scott sucked in a breath and straightened back up.

“Oh my god, we need to tell his dad”, Scott breathed and new tears rolled down his face.

_The sheriff_ . Derek didn't even think about him until now and guilt welled up in his stomach. He cleared his throat and tried to get a grip on himself. He owed it to Noah. There were tears still in his eyes, but he managed to draw in some breaths without them being stuck in his throat, so he slowly stood up. Everything was spinning and blood rushed through his ears from this movement alone. The wound on his back was itching and the skin stretched painfully around it, but Derek ignored it and offered Scott a hand. Scott looked at him and slowly took it. Derek dragged him up and the three of them just stood there. He felt like he was just acting on autopilot. His body was slowly back to functioning again, but he still felt so empty and utterly broken inside. But he didn't know if that feeling would ever go away after what had happened.

“Let's go”, he breathed hoarsely.

Scott looked at him again and his face was wet from tears. Allison was still silently sobbing and had her arms around her stomach as if trying to hold herself together. Scott felt as empty as Derek. He had just lost his best friend. His brother. He just couldn't believe it and everytime he let his mind wander there it was like someone had punched him in the stomach.

Scott nodded sternly and looked at Allison. She had tear-stained cheeks and red puffy eyes. Scott held out his hand and she took it immediately. He squeezed it reassuringly and Allison returned it with shaky hands. She felt utterly broken. She hadn't known Stiles that well, but had deeply cared for him of course. Allison had always relied on Stiles when she wasn't feeling sure about herself. Realising that Stiles could never say one of his witty remarks or come up with another crazy plan to save them all made her feel dizzy.

They all made their way out of the school and to the sheriff station. Hoping that they were strong enough to tell the sheriff that his son was gone.

The drive to the sheriff station was quiet. They sat in Derek's Camaro, since him and Stiles had driven to the school in it together. As soon as they had opened the door Stiles' scent had knocked the wind out of them and Allison had tried really hard to hold back her tears. Derek tried to find comfort in the scent as he had always done in the past, but he could feel his throat swell up again. Scott was just looking out of the window with tears rolling down his cheeks.

Derek, Scott and Allison walked into the sheriff station and were met with the usual sight. There were three cops sitting at their computers and a phone was ringing in the background. Another cop was walking around the station with files in his hands. He saw them and just nodded in the direction of the sheriff's office. Scott thanked him with a forced smile.

“Hey guys, what's up?”, the sheriff asked when they walked through the door and smiled up at them. When he saw their faces however he stopped and stood up. His desk was full of papers and files and he knocked a few down as he quickly made his way around it.

“What's wrong? Where is Stiles?”

Allison saw the picture Noah had of him and Stiles on his des and put her hand over her mouth again to hide a sob, but Noah caught it nonetheless. He looked at Scott with teary eyes.

“What happened to my son?”, a breath hitched in his throat.

“It was my fault, sir”, Derek said quietly and cleared his throat, “I couldn't save him... the Nogitsune took him and...he is gone.”

His voice left him and he blinked away new tears. It was quiet for a few seconds. Noah opened his mouth to say something, but was at a loss for words. He looked back at Scott for reassurance, but Scott couldn't meet his glance.

“Wha-”, Noah started. There was no way that this was true, but the expression on Derek's face told him otherwise. He knew that Derek was deeply in love with his son and they recently had started dating. Derek wouldn't joke about these things.

“What do you mean 'he is gone'?”, it wasn't more than a whisper.

Derek took a deep breath before strenghtening his shoulders and looking Noah directly in the eyes.

“The Nogitsune is a demon, who possesses bodies in order to get their strength. When we heard that it was coming to Beacon Hills we started tracking it down and then Stiles and I went to the school and...then...then everything went wrong and I wasn't careful enough...”

Derek took a shuddering breath and forced the tears away. He owed it to the sheriff to tell him what had happened. Why his son wasn't here with them. Noah looked at him with tears in his eyes.

“I wasn't looking and then they had me, but Stiles...he...the Nogitsune used this situation to his advantage and took his body...I am so sorry, sheriff.”

Derek was surprised when he felt Allison's hand on his shoulder, but welcomed the touch. It strengthened him in a way. The Sheriff hadn't moved an inch, his cheeks were still tear-stained and his mouth slightly open. Then the realisation hit him and his face crumbled.

“No”, Noah whispered and sank to the floor.

“Nonono, please no, please”, he sobbed and hid his face in his hands. Scott immediately rushed to him and embraced him. Allison turned around to hide her tears, but Derek could hear her silently sobbing as well. Derek had used up all his tears by now. His head was throbbing and his heart clenched at the site of the sheriff. Derek still believed that it was all his fault. And so he went over to the broken figure that was the sheriff and crouched down before him. Another wave of Stiles' scent hit him and he swallowed hard. Both Scott and Noah looked at him with red eyes. Derek took Noah's shaky hands in his.

“Sheriff, I will _promise you_, that we will get him back”, he said sternly, “I won't rest until he is safe.”

“How?”, Noah sounded hopeless and his voice was shaky. Derek thought about this for a few seconds. Kate and Peter had come back, so why not Stiles?

“We will find a way. I promise you”, Derek said it with such confidence that Noah felt a tiny bit of hope rising in his chest. After all, this incident was of supernatural origin. He nodded timidly and Derek returned it. Derek had no idea what to do, but he hadn't been kidding. He wouldn't rest until he would find something. Because the only reason Stiles was gone, was because Derek had been too weak. And Derek wouldn't accept that. Couldn't accept that.

The rest of the day was spent in a blurr. Noah's only focus was the possibility that Stiles could come back and that kept him going. It was like his lifeline. He didn't let himself think of any other outcome, otherwise he would have broken down. Noah had left work directly after Scott and the others told him the bad news and so now all four of them were sitting in Stiles' house. Noah had made coffee for everyone but it couldn't do anything against the pain they all felt in their chest.

Lydia was still at Deaton's when Allison had called her to tell her everything. She too had been shocked and devastated but hadn't let her mind linger too much on the thought that Stiles was gone. She immediately had talked to Deaton and together they went back looking through all the material they had. Stiles was special to Lydia. He had always been there, taking care of her whenever she needed it. That's why she wouldn't stop until she would find a way to bring him back. Because, same as Derek, she believed that there was a way. If living with the supernatural had taught her anything, it was that there was ALWAYS a way.

The Stilinksi household was quiet except for some soft voices in the distance. Noah had turned on the radio, because the quiet just made his mind wander off to the wrong places. He had his coffee cup in his hands, but it was cold by now. He felt nauseous and there was a thin layer of sweat covering his face. All in all Noah felt horrible. Like he was ready to collapse at any minute.

The others didn't feel any better. Scott was completely broken. He kept thinking that there must have been something he could have done. What if they had all went to the school together? What if he would have gone to the school sooner? What if he had come earlier so that he could have helped them against the Nogitsune? What if? What if? _WHAT IF??_ Scott turned his face and rested it on Allison's shoulder. The thoughts were driving him crazy and his entire body was tingling.

Allison was sitting next to Scott, a hand on his arm, trying to give him comfort, even though she felt miserable herself. When Scott rested his head on her shoulder she placed a kiss in his hair. She too had tear-stained cheeks. The coffee cup on the table was long forgotten.

Derek felt everything and nothing at the same time. There was this huge weight on his chest which made it difficult to breathe. His mind constantly went back to that night. Maybe he could have done things differently. If he had only been stronger...

Allison's phone disturbed the silence and Scott and Derek almost jumped out of their bones because of the loud noise. _Lydia_ was on the caller ID and Allison picked up the phone.

“Lydia?”

“We found a solution”, Lydia just said breathlessly. Allison's gaze shot up and met Derek's and Scott's surprised one. Immediately she put Lydia on speaker and motioned the others to come closer.

“Lydia, you are on speaker”, Allison said, “what did you find?”

“According to Derek's description Stiles has been possessed by the Nogitsune. This means, that the soul of the Nogitsune is currently inhabiting Stiles' body. It's like they are both sharing it.”

Derek took in a shaky breath. He knew what that meant and a tired and exhausted smile formed on his face. Scott saw it and narrowed down his eyes as if to ask  _What? What do you know? _ But then Noah spoke.

“Lydia, does that...does that mean that is he alive?”, Noah asked and his voice shook.

“Yes”, Lydia let out a big breath and laughed.

And with that simple word the entire tension in the room fell and everybody let out a sigh of relief. Scott's face lit up and he huffed out a laugh. Derek closed his eyes and felt tears rolling down his face, but this time they were out of relief. He could hear Noah and Allison let ouf a watery laugh.

“Stiles is trapped in his own mind”, Lydia breathed, “and there is a way we can get him back.”


	3. Figuring out a plan to get Stiles back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this story is taking me 5000 years to write, lots of things going on rn...  
But here is the next chapter, enjoy ♥

Stiles had been screaming for hours now. By now his throat was raw and his face wet from angry tears. After it had all gone down, he had woken up in his own bedroom. He had been confused, unsure as to how he had gotten back here. There was his bed and his board on the wall with all the recent suspects for a case. His books on the shelf were scattered around and even his dirty landry layed on the floor. But when he had tried to exit the room and noticed that he was staring into a void, he had started to panic. He had opened the window, but had stared into the same darkness.

He didn't know how long he had screamed for someone, _anyone_, to hear him, but there was just silence around him. Until there wasn't. Stiles could hear faint voices in the distance. He lifted his head out of his hands and looked around the room. Nothing. He stood up from his bed and tried to focus on the voices, but couldn't seem to find the source. Then suddenly he could see everything clear as day.

There was Scott, Derek, Lydia, everyone was there. They were standing in a circle and were all looking him straight in the eyes. Siles was about to say something, when they all started to let out agonising screams. Stiles was startled by that and almost jumped back. Lydia's scream was the shrillest, it was like it could shatter glass. Derek's screams were so raw and full of terror, that Stiles' stomach turned and twisted around. Even his Dad was there and this was the one that broke him the most. It reminded him of the time when his mother had died and Noah's screams had sometimes rang through the house. The screams pearced through his bones and he staggered back. It was too much and he felt like he wanted to crawl out of his skin.

“Guys, stop!”, but nothing changed.

Stiles shook his head and closed his eyes, but the screams were still there. Loud and shrill. And full of pain. To block them out he started muttering to himself. _Make it stop please just make it stop oh my god stop. _But then he heard a different sound. It was a low chuckle and it made Stiles open his eyes again.

“Hello Stiles, I hope you like your welcome committee.”

“What the hell is wrong with you?!”, Stiles screamed at him over the voices.

“Just so that we are clear here”, the Nogitsune appeared behind the hunched down figures of his loved ones, that wicked smile on his face again, “this happens if you don't do as you are told. You are trapped here, there is no way out. Don't even try.”

Stiles scrunched his brows. The screams made his head hurt.

“Why are you doing this?”, he shouted at him. But the Nogitsune just shurgged and snarled.

The screams got louder.

“No, no, stop it! STOP!”, Stiles screamed, but the scene didn't stop. He closed his eyes.

Stiles crouched down and covered his ears with his hands. He thought he was screaming, because his throat started to hurt, but he couldn't hear himself.

Then the screams suddenly stopped. And all Stiles could hear were his own muffled ones. Stiles' screams turned into whimpers and then stopped entirely. He opened his eyes and exhaled shakily. Hot tears fell from his eyes and he wiped them away. Slowly Stiles removed his hands from his ears, afraid that the screams would start again. But he heard nothing except the loud ringing in his ears. Stiles looked around his room, but he was alone again. He tried to calm his racing heart down and clutched his chest.

_This is not real this is not real thisisnotreal_

His breaths were shaky, same as his hands. But slowly the ringing in his ears quieted down. Stiles fell against his bed.

“What the hell was that?”, he mumbled shakily.

He ran his hands through his hair and pulled hard at the roots. He needed something to ground him, but it wasn't working. His mind was on overdrive. Random thoughts swirling around his brain. He couldn't focus. And that made him panic even more. Stiles focused on his breaths. Inandout and inandout and In and Out. In and Out. In. And Out. He couldn't lose his focus now. He had to get out of here somehow.

“Okay, okay, I got this. I got this.”

Stile got up on shaky legs and wiped his sweaty hands on his jeans. He took a few more deep breaths and then started looking around for...something. Maybe he hadn't looked thoroughly enough the first time and there was indeed a way out of here. But no matter how hard he looked, there was no way out of here. Except for the door. And so Stiles took a leap of faith and walked out of his room into the darkness. The first steps were catious, but then Stiles started sprinting. His heart was hammering in his chest and his breaths became shorter with every second, but there was nothing but darkness. When he turned around his room was still behind him, just a few steps away. He hadn't moved an inch...

Stiles let out a shaky breath and squinted. _This can't be happening_. He was completely out of breath and had nowhere to go. So he shuffled back into his room and closed the door. He had to rethink his strategy. He slowly walked towards the bed and let himself sink into the pillows. _What am I gonna do?_ He was no one to give up easily, but right now the situation seemed hopeless. Stiles sat back up and tried to organise his thoughts. With no success.

A movement to the left made him turn around. The door handle moved and with it the door. It slowly opened and Stiles held his breath. But the figure that walked through the door was not the one he had expected.

A shaky breath left his body.

“Derek?”

Derek smiled at him and opened his arms. Stiles immediately ran towards him and crashed into them. He let out a weak laugh and clinged onto Derek.

“Oh my god! Thank god you are here! I wanna get out of here, please.”

Stiles broke the hug and smiled up to Derek. All the pain he had felt was dulled now and he wanted nothing more than to get out of this hellhole. But then everything changed.

Derek started squirming. His brows scrunched up in pain. He let ouf a pained groan and staggered back.

“Derek? What is it?”, Stiles asked anxiously.

Then Derek screamed.

“Stiles! Stop it, PLEASE!”

Stiles approached him but Derek flinched away from him and Stiles stopped dead in his tracks. Derek screamed again and Stiles started to panic.

“Derek, I am not doing anything! What is wrong?”

But Derek continued screaming and it pierced through Stiles' skull. His heart filled with terror and Stiles frantically thought of a way to help him, but he didn't even know what was happening right now. And then with a last sob, Derek turned into dust and it was dead quiet again. The Nogitsune appreared and just moved his forefinger from side to side as if saying 'baaaad move Stiles, bad move'. Then he disappeared again and Stiles was left alone.

Stiles took a second to catch his breath. Slowly, fury was rising in his stomach and the taste in his mouth was bile. Stiles wanted to scream at the Nogitsune. He wanted to insult him. To humiliate him. To kick him and punch him. But deep down he was too scared of what the Nogitsune would do if Stiles would go through with it. He didn't want to make it worse. And so he crawled into bed, hid under the covers and just let the tears fall.

Since the moment they knew what had happened, none of them were able to rest. They often sat together and tried to find a solution. Tried to find any information about possessions and how to deal with it. It was already dark when Derek went back to the loft. They had read thorugh numerous of books and websites again, but the progess was slow.

Derek slid the loft door open and shuffled inside. His body and mind were exhausted and so he didn't notice the figure standing in the middle of the room right away. Derek stopped dead in his tracks. Because he recognised that figure. And it terrified him.

“Derek?”

That sound. His voice was still the same. He looked the same. Derek's breaths were shaky and he noticed that his hands were too. He took a step back.

“Derek, it's me, I swear to god it's me!”

Stiles looked at him so pleadingly and with so much pain in his eyes. Derek felt himself letting his guard down. But a tiny voice in his hand shouted at him _THIS CAN'T BE REAL, STILES IS GONE! _So Derek shook his head to clear his mind and let his eyes flash blue. He was so so confused.

“No, please, you have to believe me, Derek, please!”

Stiles held up his hands and took a step towards Derek, who still didn't know what to do.

“How?”, he tried to sound stern, but his voice shook.

It was quiet for a long time. Derek fought with himself. There was no way he could attack Stiles. But this here wasn't Stiles...right? His hands still shook and he didn't retract his claws. Stiles let his hands fall besides his body again. He huffed.

“You just don't believe me, do you?”, Stiles sounded hurt, “Derek, _please_, I need you to believe me!”

“I _want_ to, but I can't!”, Derek said through clenched teeth. The tension in the air was measurable. Stiles was looking at him with pleading eyes and Derek was about to break, but then everything changed. Stiles' expression changed into a smirk.

“Damn”, Stiles' voice was raspy, “you are smarter than you look.”

Derek didn't know what to do. Out of shock his eyes turned back to his normal color. He was devastated, but caught himself quickly. His eyes changed back to electric blue and he growled again.

“Hey hey, don't get up, I am not here to kill you...yet. You have something I need, but I will come back for that, so don't worry, we will meet again”, Stiles smirked.

No, this wasn't Stiles... He was different... It was like he was just an empty shell. It was like...like he was void.

“Well...this was fun, but now I got to go, see ya around”, Void said, waved and then disappeared into black smoke.

For a few heartbeats nothing happened. Derek was perplexed. What the hell just happened?! He shuddered and let out a deep breath. Slowly he retracted his claws and blinked rapidly to get clear vision again. What did Void mean when he said that Derek had something he needed? Derek started to panic, because what if this was a way to save Stiles?

Derek frantically looked through the loft. He took out every book from his shelves, checked for loose floorboards, even slit open some pillows to see if there was something hidden in them. In the end the loft looked as if a bomb had hit it, but since Derek had no indication, had no idea where to look and what to look for, he stopped. He sank to the kitchen floor and put his head in his hands. He just wanted it all to end.

Noah still couldn't believe what had happened. He always knew that it was dangerous that Stiles was involved in all this supernatural crap, but he could have never imagined that something like this could happen...His own son...Possessed? Noah just couldn't wrap his head around it. He hadn't seen his son since the incident and was starting to get worried.

The day at the sheriff station was spent with more research of his own. He had been looking at surveillance cameras and called a billion people, but no one had seen or heard from Stiles. At some point the other deputies had ordered him to go home, because Noah had fallen asleep on his desk two times already. He was utterly exhausted, body and mind.

When he parked his car in front of the house he turned off the engine and just breathed. He didn't allow himself to break down and cry, out of fear that he would never stop again. Noah sat there for a while, eyes closed, heart racing. He didn't know how long he could do it anymore. There was just so much pain cursing through his veins. He had already lost one important person in his life, he wasn't ready to lose another one. Maybe they should just pack their bags and move. But Noah knew that Stiles would never leave his friends behind and Noah itselt wouldn't be fine with the idea of leaving innocent people die in Beacon Hills just because he had wanted to get out of this town. With a shaky sigh he opened the car door.

Noah unlocked the front door and shuffled inside. When he switched on the light his heart stopped.

“Stiles?”, he breathed and felt relief rush through his veins.

It was his son. In his stupid flannel and his torn and dirty sneakers. He was pale and his hair was spiked to all sides. But it was his son. Noah was sure of it...at least he thought so.

“Dad?”, Stiles' voice was shaky and thin.

“Oh, Stiles”, Noah sighed and pulled him in a big hug. He pulled him close and breathed in his scent. Stiles clawed at his back, gripped it so fearcly that it nearly hurt.

Noah broke the hug and squeezed Stiles' shoulders. Noah was smiling from one ear to another, he nearly felt weightless. Stiles was looking at him with tears in his eyes.

“Dad, I don't know what is happening...”, his voice shook.

“It's all okay Stiles, we will figure this out together.”

“Please, dad...help me”, Stiles looked at him pleadingly.

Noah was about to say something when he noticed that something was wrong. Stiles was standing still. Too still. He was not moving from one foot to another. He was not fiddling with his hands. He was not biting the inner side of his cheek.

This was not his son.

“You are not my son”, he muttered and the realisation hit him like a truck.

Void clicked his tongue. He hummed.

“Hmm, I can already feel the despair rising in your body”, he spoke slowly.

Noah shuddered at that sound. The creature in front of him looked like Stiles, shouldn't he look different if it wasn't actually...Stiles? But his voice was filled with so much anger that it shook him. Not-Stiles moved around the room in a very calculated way. It was almost scary how unmoving his body was while he was looking like Stiles.

“Why?”, the sheriff just asked, and hated how much his voice shook.

The Nogitsune just shrugged his shoulders and took a few steps towards Noah who stepped back. He took his time with the answer and the tension in the air rose.

“You see sheriff...your son is just so _utterly_ broken, that it was one of my easiest task to infiltrate all his cracks and take power of this body.”

Noah bit on his lip to stop himself from crying.

“He really is the perfect shell. There is nothing left of Stiles. It is just..._me._ And thanks to his beautiful mind I will be the one outsmarting everyone now”, he chuckled grimly.

Noah had to clear his throat because it was clogged with tears.

“Stiles? Please, if you are in there...please come back to me”, he just had to try it, but the low chuckle that came out of the creature made his stomach turn.

There was so much pain in the sheriff's body. It filled him up and left a bile taste in his mouth. The Nogitsune enjoyed the entire situation. Taking Stiles' body had used up all its strength and now he needed to refill his batteries. And what better way than to start with the sheriff. He took in a deep breath and the pain from the sheriff filled him up and made him strong. He had already known that the sheriff would feel the most pain, but the amount of it nearly made him dizzy. It was like an open buffet, it really was 'all you can eat'. The Nogitsune took in the picture of the broken man before him. Noah had hunched shoulders and his foreheard was furrowed with worry. His hands were shaking and eyes were dull. The Nogitsune took it all in with a smile. He hummed happily again.

Noah had no idea what to do. His body was blank and it was like his body wasn't cooperating. Seeing this creature in front of him telling him that...that his son was gone was more than he could take. The worst scenario had happened. He had not only lost his wife. But now also his son. Another wave of terror and pain surged through him and he could hear the creature sigh. It made Noah sick that the creature apparently took so much pleasure in his pain and he felt a shiver down his spine.

“Please”, he could only say, “please give me back my son.”

“Mhm....no”, he was taunting him now.

Noah's whole body deflated. It was like his strength had left him. The Nogitsune took a deep breath again and enjoyed the surge of power that ran through him.

“Thank you for your time, sheriff, I enjoyed every minute of it”, the Nogitsune smirked and then walked out of the house.

Noah stood in the middle of his living room. His whole body tingling and mind blank. His knees failed him and he sank to the floor. He hid his face in his hands and let out a shaky breath.

Now he was all alone in this world. He had lost the only family he still had.

The following day Lydia and Deaton invited them all over to the clinic. Derek was still shaken from his encouter with Void Stiles and Noah felt no different. He was just staring into nothingness, his hands mindlessly fiddling with a loose string on his pants. Derek tried to pull himself together as best as he could, but the foul feeling in his stomach had never left since the encounter. Scott sat down next to Noah and rubbed over his back. He took a bit of pain away and Noah forced a smile on his face as a thank you.

“Lydia and I have been looking for a way to save Stiles for the past days”, Deaton came straight to the point, “and we think there might be a way.”

Noah's head turned so fast Scott heard his neck crack. Allison let out an exhausted but relieved sigh. Noah straightened his shoulders and stood up on shaky legs.

“What do we have to do?”

“It won't be easy, sheriff, but if we do it smart then we can crack the shell of Void Stiles and help the real Stiles fight his way out of it by himself.”

Lydia had stood up and brought a heavy book with her, it was leather bound and the edges showed many years of use. She put it down on the table with a small tud and opened up a page she had bookmarked with a piece of paper. They all huddled around the table, anticipating what they had found out.

“When someone is possessed the spirit of a demon is infiltrating his body. It is inhabiting it. In order to counteract this possession we need to find a way to banish this spirit out of the host.”

They all nodded and Lydia continued. She pointed to the weird looking box on the bottom of the page.

“Now this here will come in handy after we have banished the spirit out of Stiles. It is a box made out of the same material as the Nemeton. It is made to securely contain supernatural objects or beings. Once it is in there it is trapped and we can figure out the next step.”

She stopped with her small lecture and looked at all of them expectantly. They all returned her gaze, except Derek, who kept staring at the picture of the box. Allison noticed it.

“What is it? Have you seen it before?”

“I did...I can't remember where though...”, Derek said, lost in thought.

“That's good! This way we don't need to waste precious time finding it”, Deaton said with an enthusiastic smile.

“When was the last time you saw it?”, he continued.

Derek thought about this for a while, his eyes narrowing down on the picture.

“My mum had it...she always had it hidden in her shelf...but then...”, Derek shook his head as if to chase away the bad thoughts, “it has to be in the vault, because it's not at my loft, I would know.”

“Are you sure? Have you checked?”, Scott asked.

“Yeah, I did. After he paid me a visit today I turned my whole loft upside down. He told me that he had searched for something that he needed, but he couldn't find it. This has to be it!”

“He knows”, Lydia said agitated, “we need to get if before he can.”

“Then let's keep him occupied, while we search the vault”, Scott suggested and they all agreed.

“And we need to weaken him”, Deaton said and Noah didn't like the sound of it. Why did this happen to his son? Lydia nodded.

“In order for it to work we need to crack the shell so that Stiles can find a way out”, she added and looked at Deaton, who timidly nodded.

Lydia clearly felt uncomfortable asking the next question. She moved from one leg to another, but then focused her glance on the sheriff.

“Sheriff...I know that...that this situation is completely unusual and that you have suffered way more than we could ever imagine, but...but could you be the one to do it? We would of course be outside waiting for backup, if any complications would arise.”

“Do what?”, Noah looked at her confused. Now it was Deaton who answered.

“In order to crack the shell we need to get to him. We need to get through to Stiles...Now, this can be done by either talking to him about the past, something meaningful would be best...Like his favourite food or favourite activity you share...”

Noah shook his head in fast, jerky movements and his face crumbled.

“I don't think I can do this...I have tried to get to him already, but nothing-...It is like...like he is not even there anymore”, Noah whispered and gripped the table fiercly.

Scott understood.

“Okay, that is okay, we understand that”, he said and his voice was gentle.

“I am sorry”, Noah said shakily and looked up to Lydia, who shot him an understanding and sad smile.

Allison knew about another way to weaken someone, but even the thought of hurting Stiles was enough to make her stomach turn. So she didn't propose it.

“Well...in this case”, Deaton cleared his throat and looked at Derek.

Derek looked at him perplexed. Deaton just waited and then it clicked and Derek's chest tightened. Stiles and Derek clearly had a connection, everybody could see that. And maybe this was even better since Derek could defend himself against an attack. Deaton wasn't sure if the sheriff could even hold a gun at this mental state he was in. The last encounter still shook Derek, but he just had to give it a go. He owed it to the sheriff to try everything to bring his son back. Derek swallowed hard.

“I will try”, he said sternly, but his voice shook. It seemed like the tension in the room disappeared as soon as he said that.

“Thank you”, Deaton said with a nod and a small smile.

Noah walked over to him and hugged him fiercly.

“Thank you”, Noah whispered and Derek returned the hug timidly.

They discussed further specifics in the next half an hour. Scott, Allison, Lydia and Deaton were going to check out the vault. While this was all happening Derek should distract Stiles, so that the others could focus on finding the box. So after they seperated for the night Derek wrote Stiles a message, saying that he had found what he was looking for and that he wanted to make a deal. Void was smart, but he had no choice, he needed that box desperately to make sure that he was one step ahead.

Derek waited anxiously in the loft. He felt like he was going to vomit because he was so restless. His hands were getting sweaty and he paced around the room. Then suddenly he heard a noise to the left and Void was there, tiny clouds of smoke still around him.

“Hi there”, he said with a smirk and a shiver ran down Derek's spine.

“So where is the box?”

“You will get it as soon as you leave this body.”

Void scuffed.

“I really hoped you would have been smarter.”

Derek blocked him out as best as he could and focused entirely on his feelings for Stiles. This was the only way he would get through to him. So he took a deep breath and looked Void straight in the eyes.

“Stiles?”, Derek tentively made a step towards him, “Stiles...please...if you can hear me, please come back.”

His voice was so full of love...and hurt.

“I need you.”

Void just chuckled.

“Yeah this is not working, I can hear him in my head screaming though, he has a very loose mouth...all these insults”, he clicked his tongue and shook his head mockingly.

He took a step towards Derek, full of confidence. Derek swallowed down his tears and stopped himself from mirrowing Void's steps.

“You don't even have the box, do you?”, Void asked coldly and his nose twitched. He was getting angry.

“You will never get it”, Derek forced the words out of his mouth, “just give him back to us, god damnit!”

Void swallowed down his anger. These bastards really thought they could get away with fooling him. But not with him. If they wanted pain, then fine, they would know pain. Void smirked. He would try a different strategy to get to the damn box. If he could just break them all enough, then they would be too occupied licking their own wounds and he could look for the stupid thing himself.

“Even _if_ I would give him back to you, he still would die. You wanna know why?”

Derek almost stopped breathing and waited anxiously for the answer.

“I _filled_ in all his cracks. There is just so much rage in this little body, it fills me up, makes me feel _alive_. This body doesn't belong to Stiles anymore. It is just._..me.”_

“You are sick!”, Derek spat, angry tears in his eyes, but Void just shrugged his shoulders, unfased.

Derek knew that Void wanted to break him, to see him crumble, but he wouldn't give in. Not yet. So he gathered up all his strength, straightened his shoulders and took another step towards Void. They were now standing just a few steps away from each other.

“Please...”, Derek started again, “I know you are in there. I am not giving up on you. Stiles you have to fight your way out of it!”

Void scoffed again, but Derek blocked him out.

“You told me something when it all happened, do you remember?”

Derek's throat swelled up with new tears. Surprisingly he could see Void's eyes also shine. So Derek kept going.

“You said something that I couldn't return that day...but...”, Derek took a deep breath, his heart so full of love, “I love you, too.”

Derek let out a shuddered breath and wiped away a tear that escaped his eye.

“I love you”, he repeated and his voice broke, “please come back to me.”

A shiver went through Void's body and he shook his head. Then it was like his gaze cleared, but it was so dark that Derek wasn't really sure.

“Derek?”, it wasn't more than a whisper, but Derek caught it nonetheless.

Derek didn't dare to feel hopeful, but his eye were glistening and he looked so much like Stiles that his entire body screamed for him to pull him in a big hug and never let him go. But his brain was urging him not to trust the figure standing before him. A headache started to form and he scrunched up his brows.

“Derek, what is happening?”, his voice was so _Stiles_, so thin and shaky, it broke Derek's heart.

This has to be him! He still didn't smell like Stiles, but given the fact that he was possessed Derek shoved that thought away and an exhausted smile formed on his face. _I did it._ Hope rushed through his veins and left him feel weightless.

“It's okay”, Derek said and reached out to him, “you are okay.”

Stiles' face was wet from tears and crumbled when he timidly nodded. A painful sob left his mouth and he let his head fall. He took a deep breath and looked at Derek with a small smile on his lips. But then his face hardened and Derek's stomach dropped. He had celebrated too soon. Void snorted out a laugh and wiped the tears away.

“Oh wow, that's all it takes? Pathetic.”

Derek felt like he couldn't breathe. He was screaming inside his own head, full of rage, but his body just stood there, unable to move.

“I gotta say, I expected more from an all powerful Alpha”, Void said and enjoyed the view from Derek's broken form.

“That should teach you a lesson”, he walked towards Derek and his voice was deep and threatening, “don't even _think _that you can mess with me.”

He let that hang in the air, further enjoying the distress and pain radiating from Derek.

“Alright, I had a blast, let me know when you wanna do it again”, he smirked and disappeared in smoke.

Derek's ears were ringing and his heartbeat was racing. He sank to his knees. He had failed.

Scott's phone rang and when he saw it was his mum, he quickly picked up. He was still anxiously waiting for Derek to tell him how the encounter with Void went, but his mum wouldn't just call him without any reason. Not at times like these.

“Hey mum, are you okay?”

“Scott...”, she panted and hid a grunt, “...where are you?”

“I am at home, why? What is going on?”

He could hear her ragged breaths through the phone and muffled shouts and screams in the distance. The worry made him sick in his stomach and he could feel his hands starting to sweat.

“I am still at the hospital...Scott...he was here.”

Scott knew exactly who she was talking about. A breath hitched in his throat.

“What happened, are you okay?”, Scott tried to hide the tremor in his voice.

“I am okay...I think”, she panted again, “nothing life threatening”, she tried making a joke, but it fell flat.

“Are you hurt?”

“Nothing I can't fix in a hospital. But the others...”, Scott heard her closing a door, “Scott...he...he killed people...”

Scott felt like someone had punched him in the stomach. All the air had left his lungs and he had to sit down. He had no idea if he could even talk right now.

“We don't know where he is right now. Him and his black swordsmen left about half an hour ago. We have been treating people left and right...and...trying to identify the dead.”

“Mum, please be careful!”, Scott finally found his voice, “he might still be around. I will let the others know. Call me if anything happens, okay? Anything!”

“You be careful, too, I will. Love you.”

“Love you, too, mum.”

Scott called Lydia and Allison to let them know, but couldn't get ahold of Derek. It worried him. If everything had gone well, then why didn't Derek text? So with worry welling up in his stomach Scott made his way to the loft. When he walked up the stairs to the loft it was quiet. Normally Derek was always doing something, sometimes he was even listening to some music and humming to the tune. And then other times Stiles' chatter had been heard from a mile away... but Stiles was gone. And so it was dead quiet.

Scott turned around the corner and saw the familiar sturdy metal door in front of him. He listened again, but no sounds were coming through it. He could make out a slow heartbeat and labored breathing, though. Since he didn't sense a threat, Scott calmed down a bit. He slowly slid the door open and was met with the dimly lit loft. Now he was confused, it was 3pm. Normally, at this time, the afternoon sun would produce enough light to light up the whole room, but Scott saw that Derek had closed the blinds. Scott walked into the loft and slid the door shut before turning around. He looked around, but couldn't see Derek anywhere. Scott felt that the heartbeat came from upstairs and made his way up the windy stairs. The stairs made a loud sound whenever he stepped on them and added to the sound of his loud heartbeat in his ears.

Scott looked around and when he saw Derek he let out a breath. _Thank God_ he thought, because he couldn't see any injuries, Derek seemed to be unharmed. Then why didn't he call? But upon further inspection Scott saw that Derek wasn't even looking at him. He was just staring at the floor with an empty glance.

Scott slowly approached the slumped figure on the bed.

“Derek?”

Scott heard the heartbeat stutter for a second. It was like Derek had now only realised that someone was in the loft. Derek looked up at him, but didn't return the small smile Scott shot him. Scott cautiously sat down next to Derek.

“What happened, are you okay?”

When Derek didn't answer Scott wanted to try again, but then Derek spoke.

“I lost him”, he whispered and his voice broke.

Scott swallowed hard and looked down to the floor as well. He wanted to tell Derek about the hospital incident, but couldn't bring himself to open his mouth with the state Derek was in.

“I lost him and I haven't even...I haven't gotten the chance to tell him that I...that I love him”, Derek said quietly and his voice was so fragile. He put his face in his hands.

“I am sure he knows, Derek”, Scott said softly. He saw that Derek was nodding his head timidly and could hear a small sob escaped his lips.

“He did it for me.”

Derek whispered and closed his eyes to let the tears fall. He looked at Scott and his gaze was so full of pain that Scott felt sick to his stomach.

“He did it for me”, Derek said again and nodded timidly, “I am the reason he is possessed.”

Then his face crumbled and he shook his head. He was shaking and hid his face in his left shoulder.

“We will get him back, Derek”, Scott said and tried to hide the shakiness of his voice.

“We will, I promise you”, Scott nodded and placed a hand on Derek's shoulder.

They continued sitting in silence, giving each other strength and comfort.


	4. The Exorcism

After the setbacks from last week it would have been easy to lose hope, but Lydia wouldn't back down so easily. They had to find a different way to save Stiles. This left Lydia and Deaton to read through all the material they had again, but they kept hitting dead ends.

“There is nothing here”, Lydia groaned and threw another book onto the growing pile on the floor.

Deaton looked up from his own book and sighed. He too hadn't found anything new. So that only left them with one remaining option. And they both were afraid to say it out loud.

“I think we have to consider performing the exorcism”, Lydia said after a while and she immediately felt sick to her stomach. There was reason, that they didn't go with this idea earlier, since this would be the option that would hurt Stiles the most. Exorcisms were never easy. But they had no choice. They were running out of time. Void Stiles grew stronger every day.

“I think you are right.”

Deaton didn't like this idea either. He had seen what exorcisms did to other people, but this here was their last straw and they had to try it. He grabbed his phone and started calling everyone. Except for the sheriff. Noah wouldn't be strong enough to watch them do this to Stiles and would maybe even complicate things, so it was better not having him there. They would of course call him after. Either telling him that it worked...or that it didn't.

They all met in Derek's loft about three hours later. Everybody was anxious. If this wouldn't work then they were officially out of ideas.

“Does everybody know what they need to do?”, Deaton looked at them and saw the mix of determination and panic in their eyes. They all nodded at him sternly.

“Okay”, he whispered and stepped closer to the circle of mountain ash on the floor. He mumbled something under his breath and the energy in the room changed. Allison could feel the hairs on her body stand up and her heart fluttered.

And then with another surge of energy the lights in the room flickered and then turned off for a second. When they turned back on Scott held his breath, because Void was standing in the middle of the mountain ash circle. Void tried to look unimpressed, but his eyes flickered nervously around the room.

Deaton had explained to them that they shouldn't let Void settle and try to find a way to get out somehow, so he nodded at Lydia and both started chanting.

_Regna terrae, cantata Deo, psallite Cernunnos, Regna terrae, cantata Dea psallite Aradia._

Almost immediately Void started squirming and held his head. He grunted and shook his head violently, but Deaton and Lydia didn't stop.

_Caeli Deus, Deus terrae, Humiliter majestati gloriae tuae supplicamus Ut ab omni infernalium spirituum potestate, Laqueo, and deceptione nequitia, Omnis fallaciae, libera nos, dominates._

Scott and the others watched the whole scenario anxiously. Void's movements became more and more jerky and uncontrolled. It seemed like he wanted to crawl out of his skin.

_Exorcizamus you omnis immundus spiritus Omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio, Infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, Omnis and congregatio secta diabolica. _

They all knew that it wouldn't be easy, but what they weren't prepared for were the raw screams that tear out of Void. Scott flinched everytime that happened. It was tough seeing his brother like that. Lydia didn't feel any different, because technically it was her and Deaton who were causing him so much pain. Her breath hitched in her throat and her voice started to waver. Deaton noticed and looked at her vividly. She wasn't allowed to stop, because then this would have all been for nothing. Deaton knew that it was a long spell, but the reason he chose it was because it would weaken the demon enough so that trapping him in the triskele box would be easy. The box was standing right next to the mountain ash circle, ready to catch the demon when it was time. Luckily Lydia reminded herself that this wasn't the right time to break down and so she straightened her shoulders and continued with the spell.

_Ab insidiis diaboli, libera nos, dominates, Ut coven tuam secura tibi libertate servire facias, Te rogamus, audi nos! _

Both of them started talking faster and stepped closer to the circle. Then suddenly Void convulsed and Derek's heart nearly stopped. It was like a fight happened before their eyes, a fight between Void and Stiles to regain control of the body.

“Stiles, please”, Derek muttered under his breath and watched the fight anxiously.

And then the jerky movements of the figure before them stopped and Derek forgot to breathe. Because this before them wasn't Void anymore, it was Stiles. His scent was still all kinds of wrong, but it was stronger than it had ever been lately. His eyes lost their dullness and he looked frantically around the room. Scott noticed it too and put a hand over his mouth to hide a sob. Allison quickly went over to Scott and asked what was wrong, but all Scott could whisper was “Stiles”. _It was working_. But he didn't know if he like it, because Stiles started squirming and it was clear that he was in huge pain. Stiles pushed against the mountain ash barrier.

“Stop!”, he screamed over the chanting, “Please! It hurts! STOP IT! PLEASE”

Tears were streaming down his face and he staggered back and pressed his palms to his forehead, but Lydia and Deaton kept going. His screams mixed with their shanting and Scott's ears started to ring, everything was just _so loud_.

_Ut inimicos sanctae circulae humiliare digneris, Te rogamus, audi nos! Terribilis Deus Sanctuario suo, Cernunnos ipse truderit virtutem plebi Suae, Aradia ipse fortitudinem plebi Suae._

Derek screamed for them to quit the exorcism, but the glance Deaton shot him made him stop. Deep down Derek knew that they couldn't back down now, but on the other hand it broke him to see Stiles like this. Allison had her arms around Scott, who held onto her for dear life. By now Stiles was sobbing and the screams had turned into whimpers. He still pushed with his hands against the barrier and Derek slowly moved and put his own against them. It burned his skin and everything in his body told him to remove them, but for some reason he couldn't.

“Stiles, I am here, I got you”, he mumbled under his breath.

_Benedictus Deus, Gloria Patri, Benedictus Dea, Matri gloria!_

Lydia and Deaton finally finished and after the last word Stiles let out a raw and agonising scream. He fell to his knees and to their surprise black smoke shot out of his mouth. They all watched in suspense, scared about what was happening. Allison remembered her task and surged forward to open the triskele box and catch the smoke. The box was vibrating and she had to use all her strength to hold it upright. When all was finished she quickly closed the box and let out an exhausted sigh. For a second everything was quiet and Lydia let out a shuddering breath. But then Stiles tilted to the side and crashed to the floor.

Derek surged forward and collided with the barrier. A raw scream tore out of him.

“Allison!”

Her gaze shot up and when she saw Derek so desperately trying to break through the barrier, something broke in her. She knew that feeling of not being able to breathe when you weren't around your loved ones and so despite knowing the plan she ran towards Derek and broke the barrier in an instant. She heard Deaton shout at him, that it was still too early, but Derek didn't care. He rushed to Stiles' body and knelt down next to him, but then stopped for a moment. What if this was a trick again? With shaky hands he roamed over Stiles body, not sure what to do.

“Derek?”, Allison's voice was thin and shaky, “is he...”

Derek focused for a second before he answered.

“No, I think he is okay”, he said quietly.

Stiles was white as sheet and his face was covered in sweat and tears. He had dark circles under his eyes, they were almost purple, and when Derek took his hand it was cold and clammy. His lips were almost white and they were cracked at a few spots. Other than that his face was slack. But this time Derek was sure, it was Stiles. A warm feeling flowed through him, confirming his thought.

“It worked”, he breathed and could hear relieved sighs all around.

Derek took Stiles' face in his hands. Stiles' head was so heavy in his grip. The others came closer, but kept their distance, except Scott. Scott needed to make sure that Stiles was okay. But he was also sure that this here was Stiles. Just Stiles. He let himself relax. Derek stroke Stiles' cheek with his thumb.

“Stiles, please open your eyes”, Derek pleaded but Stiles remained unresponsive. Derek's gaze flickered between Stiles' closed eyes and suddenly he felt terrified. What if this hadn't worked? What if they had come too late? Lydia's voice tore him out of his thoughts.

“After the exorcism, the body is still weak, so...give him time”, Lydia said softly and placed a hand on Derek's shoulder. Derek nodded and smiled up to her. She was swaying on her feet, barely upright and Allison went over to support her. Deaton was sitting on the floor next to them, he was panting as well. They all needed time to heal and to regain their strength, but it seemed like the worst was over now.

They decided that Stiles should stay at the loft. Here he was protected by Derek and Scott who would both never leave his side and made sure that Stiles could rest without any disturbances. Scott had called Noah and explained everything. Noah had of course left work immediately to go see his son and spend hours just sitting next to him on the bed and watching him sleep. He was still too thin and looked so so pale, but the others had reassured him that the demon was in fact gone. Noah had then left after hours of stroking Stiles' hair and just holding his hand. He knew that here he was safer than with him at home. If some supernatural creature would decide to swing by, then only Derek or Scott would be able to protect his son. Noah knew that they both would never leave Stiles' side. Stiles was safe here.

Allison brought Lydia and Deaton home and made sure that both of them ate something before she practically forced them to lay down and rest. They had used up a lot of their energy today and needed it. Stiles was unresponsive for the rest of the day. His heartbeat slowed down enough to make them all worry and hours later he became feverish. Stiles started to mumble in his sleep for hours and sweated through the sheets. His eyes were always moving behind his lids and his forehead was furrowed with pain. Sometimes he gasp and his whole body convulsed and everytime Scott and Derek started to panic even more. He remained in this state for three entire days. Every night he was troubled by night terrors, but never woke up, no matter how much Derek shook him or how much he screamed for him to wake up. Noah had started to worry that his son would never recover, but Deaton had assured him that sadly Stiles' reaction to the exorcism was normal. Still, whenever Noah swung by after work he was met with the same terrifying sight of his son fighting for his life.

Derek never left Stiles' side. He sat on the bed for hours and hours, wiping away the sweat on Stiles' forehead and holding his hand. Trying to get him to at least drink something, but Stiles just wouldn't regain consciousness. Melissa had set up an IV on the second day to help Stiles' exhausted body recover. She didn't like the way his skin almost turned grey. His temperature spiked as well and she ordered Scott and Derek to place cold compresses on Stiles' forehead, but after merely minutes they were warm again. Then on the third day his temperature suddenly dropped and he started shivering. The switched the cold compresses for warm water bottles, but noting seemed to be working. Melissa monitored his state day and night, she even took a day off on the third day, because the switch in body temperature worried her too much. She was a nurse after all, but this supernatural situation was no match for her. Nevertheless she tried her best, but she feared that they were going to lose him if this would go on like this.

It was the night of the fourth day. Melissa had just left after exchanging the warm fluid IV. At this point there was nothing else they could do. The loft was quiet now, it was just few hours after midnight. Derek laid in bed next to Stiles while Scott was sprawled over the sofa downstairs. Derek was asleep, but had his hand still over Stiles'. The constant worry had made him dead tired and so he didn't notice that Stiles starting to twitch in his sleep. His breaths became more desperate and he frantically shook his head from side to side. Stiles mumbled something under his breath and then woke up with a loud gasp. Almost immediately he scrambled upwards and practically sprinted out of the bed. The IV needle painfully ripped out of his skin, but Stiles didn't even notice that. Derek's heart nearly jumped out of his chest at this rough awakening and his chest heaved with his ragged breaths. He looked around the room and found Stiles cowering on the floor. He heard him mutter things under his breath, his hands over his ears and eyes tightly clutched close. The relief of seeing Stiles alive was quickly replaced by worry and terror. Derek slowly got up from the bed and sneaked around his side towards Stiles.

“....Stiles?”

The mutters became louder and Derek could make out repetitive words.

“No no no no, this isn't real, this isn't real...”, Stiles shook his head and Derek could see tears glistering on his face. A small trail of blood ran down his hand where he had ripped out the needle.

“Hey, it's okay, you are okay”, Derek said cautiously, his arms desperately reaching out to Stiles. He heard noises coming from downstairs and then saw Scott sprinting up the stairs. His face was as bewildered as Derek's. Derek motioned him to stay back.

Stiles continued to whimper, tears were now freely streaming down his face.

“Stiles, buddy, hey what's wrong?”, Scott's voice shook. He too was beyond relieved to see Stiles alive, but the dread was still in his bones. Shouldn't the terror be over by now? And why was he bleeding?? Scott started to panic and moved closer, but that only made it worse. Stiles practically scrambled away from them in fear. He made himself as small as he could, head between his knees, hands still tightly pressed to his ears.

“No no no”, the whimpers became louder and Scott hastily steppped back again.

Scott and Derek looked at each other, worrying lines on their foreheads. Their thoughts jumping around in their minds, trying to find a way to help.

“I can't see you die again”, Stiles whispered under his breath, his voice broken and so thin, so shaky. Derek's breath hitched in his throat. Stiles still believed that he was trapped. They had to get him out of this headspace somehow. Derek slowly moved backwards until he was at the lightswitch and then turned them on. Scott was still frozen in shock at the sight of his brother like this.

Stiles didn't move from his spot on the floor. He didn't even notice that the room became brighter because he had his eyes still tightly closed. Derek looked at Scott, who was on the brink of tears, and slowly moved towards Stiles.

“Stiles, please listen to me. You are okay. We got you out”, Derek said slowly.

Stiles winced and scrambled further away from him.

“No, don't! I could hurt you, GO AWAY!”, he screamed and it was raw and full of pain.

“It's me, it's me, this is real, please just open your eyes”, Derek pleaded desperately.

“Please...”, he said again when nothing happened.

A memory popped up in Scott's mind and he suddenly got an idea. He slowly moved towards Stiles as well, with his arms stretched out before him.

“Stiles? Hey, it's Scott...you are safe”, Scott started.

“I know that you feel like this all here isn't real, but we have been through this before, remember? Like that one time at a party where you had a panic attack, because there were so many people and you felt trapped? Like it was all a nightmare?”, Derek looked at Scott surprised, because it seemed to be working. Stiles' heartbeat was still way too fast to be healthy, but it seemed to slow down at least a bit. The whimpers died down as well.

“We went to the bathroom and I didn't know how to help you, but then you said that in dreams you had extra fingers? Look at this Stiles, look, this is real”, Scott said and held up both of his hands.

First nothing happened, but Scott just waited paitiently. Derek did the same, afraid to startle Stiles again. It took about 20 seconds and then Stiles slowly moved. He tentively removed his shaking hands from his ears and slowly straightened up. A small smile formed on Scott's face. And then very _very_ slowly Stiles opened his eyes. Tears fell out and he shakily wiped them away. He looked up and saw Scott and Derek standing few steps away from him. His gaze met Derek's who timidly smiled, his forhead still creased with worry. And then he saw Scott's hands.

The world seemed to stop for a minute when Stiles counted the fingers in his head. He was almost waiting to get betrayed again and to see the Nogitsune laughing at his face. But none of that happened. He counted and counted and counted, but the number didn't change. There were 10 fingers..._10_.

“Yeah, this is real”, Scott breathed and nodded encouragingly.

Stiles looked up and his gaze flickered between the hands, Scott's face and Derek's face and then back to the hands again. It took a bit for the realisation to hit and Derek and Scott just waited anxiously. And then it was like the air left Stiles body and he sank to the floor defeatedly. His breaths were shaky and so where his hands. Derek cautiously stepped closer, he didn't want Stiles to freak again. But Stiles didn't move. His eyes were jumping around on the floor, his mind trying desperately to piece together what was real and what wasn't. His lips were still so pale, but slowly the colour returned to them. And then he looked up and Derek was croutched before him. Hands shaking as well, awaiting Stiles' reaction.

And then Stiles' face just crumbled and he hid it in his hands. Derek's arms wrapped around his shaking form immediately and he held him close. He couldn't hide the exhausted and happy smile on his face.

“Shh, it's okay, everything is okay.”

He could hear Stiles silently crying, sometimes a sob escaped his lips. Scott shakily exhaled and sat on the floor next to them. He smiled up to Derek who returned it tiredly. Stiles moved his hands from his eyes and then grabbed onto Derek like a lifeline. Derek just held him. And then a electric jolt rocked through Stiles and he harshly sucked in a breath. He fought his way out of Derek's embrace and looked at them both in terror.

“Oh my god...”, he sobbed shakily, “I k-killed....I k-”, he didn't come further, he was crying so hard that the hiccups stopped him. He leaned back into Derek, who immediately wrapped his arms around him again.

“Shh”, Derek rubbed soothing circles over Stiles' back. He knew that it wouldn't help, but there was nothing else he could do.

Scott moved closer and put a steadying hand on Stiles' heaving shoulder. He allowed himself to relax. They got Stiles back, but at what cost?

After Stiles calmed down he had physically no strength left in his body and just slumped against Derek's chest. They could hear his deep and steady breaths, he was asleep. Derek carried him back to bed and tucked him under the covers. He couldn't help himself and placed a kiss on Stiles' forehead. Derek stroke over his hair and wiped away the tears from Stiles' face with his thumb. He turned around and saw Scott slowly getting up from his position on the floor.

“You think he is okay now?”, Scott said in a hushed voice.

“I don't know”, Derek said truthfully, “but I think there is nothing else we can do right now. Let's just let him rest.”

Scott nodded and patted Derek on the shoulder. Then he turned around and walked back down the stairs. Derek ran a hand over his face and groaned. He went to the bathroom and opened the medical cabinet. Derek returned with a small bandage and covered up the wound on Stiles' hand after cleaning the blood around it. He carefully pulled back the covers enough for him to lay down next to Stiles again. Derek took in his sleeping form for a second and then closed his eyes. He was asleep in a heartbeat.

When Stiles started turning in bed Derek feared that it would all happen again, but then Stiles just opened his eyes with a small gasp and stared at the ceiling. His heartbeat was racing again and he let out a deep shuddering breath. Derek waited a while, but when nothing happened he grew more and more anxious.

“You okay?”, he whispered after about a minute of silence.

Stiles flinched at the sound, he hadn't expected it, he had been lost in his own thoughts. But then he blinked them away and turned over to the side to look at Derek. Derek forced a smile on his face and Stiles weakly returned it. He shuffled closer and Derek opened his arms to pull him in a deep embrace. He just held him and traced his fingers down Stiles' back. The shirt clung to his back in wrinkles, he was clammy and cold again.

“Are you cold?”

Stiles just shrugged.

“I just can't seem to get warm”, he breathed and hid his face further into Derek's chest.

Derek just held onto him stronger. They stayed like this for a while. Derek was about to fall asleep when he heard Stiles' soft voice.

“So this is really real, huh?”

“Yeah, it is”, Derek returned quietly. He felt Stiles nod against his chest.

“I heard you in my head”, Stiles said after a while.

Derek smiled sadly and kissed Stiles on his head.

“I love you so much”, he mumbled into his hair, “I am sorry I didn't say it back then.”

Stiles wiggled out of the embrace and looked at Derek. They both looked like crap and needed weeks of rest after this, but Derek looked at him with so much admiration and love that Stiles stomach was full of butterflies. He stretched his neck and kissed Derek deeply. Derek returned it the same way.

“You know what gave me the strength to break out of it?”, Stiles smiled, “it was you, I heard you call out for me and the next thing I know is looking at your face through the mountain ash barrier.”

Derek felt new tears clog his throat and so he just kissed Stiles again and tucked his head under his own chin. They both tightly held onto each other. Stiles knew that he wasn't okay, he wouldn't be for a while, but he just hoped that it would get better at some point. It just had to be.


End file.
